3 weeks.

I haven't written on my blog in about a year.  But so much has happened.  Really so much has happened in the last 3 weeks.  Or so much happened 3 weeks ago today. 

3 weeks ago today Ray and I were celebrating our 5 year anniversary.  He took me out to lunch (a big treat for a girl that had been on bed rest for 2 months).  We talked about our life and our family and what was to come...soon... a baby girl.  We were excited for our family to grow. 

3 weeks ago tonight we went to the hospital because I could not get Nora to move.  I had tried everything they say to do and I hadn't felt her since the afternoon.  At the hospital we heard her strong heart beat.  I was relieved.  I thought, my girl is ok.

3 weeks ago tonight the doctor could not get Nora to respond either despite all his tricks and did not like what he was seeing with every ultrasound and test they did. 

3 weeks ago in the middle of the night I had an emergency C-section.  I heard the doctor say, she is really pale and really anemic when he pulled her out. The doctors said she had lost a lot of blood and they couldn't figure out why. 

3 weeks ago my baby girl was in the NICU.  She was bigger than many babies in there that were thriving.  She was 4 lbs.  She was a 33 week preemie and supposed to be just fine.  But after several hours they just couldn't stabilize her.  They couldn't get blood into her fast enough.  Her oxygen levels were too low.  She had been bleeding inside of me.  Our blood was mixing in the womb when is wasn't supposed to.  It was a rare and undetectable problem. 

3 weeks ago the doctor looked in my eyes as my husband wept and said, It's time to let her go. I will wrap her up and you can hold her.  I said OK.

3 weeks ago was the first and last time I'll hold my sweet Nora on this earth. 

One day I will hold her again in Heaven.  

3 weeks ago my life was changed forever.  I have felt deep pains of grief that I have never felt before.  Pain that I never thought possible.  I have never felt truly, deeply, sadly heartbroken until now.  I have also never felt the presence of Jesus like I have in the last 3 weeks.  It's something I've never experienced before.  He was with me and is with me even in the deep dark pit of despair when my heart feels like it can't breathe.   He is with me in the moments when I feel OK. He is with me when I weep and he weeps with me. 

3 weeks ago my world was turned upside down but I know that God is bigger than this world. 

"Jesus said,  take heart, I have overcome the world." John 16

Oranges

This kid loves him some oranges! He just can't get enough. I have to bring them out at the end of the meal because he won't touch anything else on his plate once he sees an orange.

Basketball

We watch a lot of NBA in our house... (not quite as much as we used to since we no longer have NBA TV and I vetoed adding channels to our package just to get that one.)  Lately all the talk has been about Jeremy Lin and the NY Knicks.  "Linsanity" is what they have becn calling it.  Basically, he was on a team last year and didn't play at all.  He was on a different team at the start of the season and got cut and then the Knicks picked him up and he has been playing really well.  Making game winning shots and scoring lots of points in every game.  Also, Kevin Durant scored over 50 points in his game last night - career high.  Why do I know all this?  I don't know.  Our TV is frequently on ESPN and my sweet husband enjoys talking about it. 

All that to say, I have a new favorite Basketball star thanks to Mamaw and Poppa's birthday present! 

I think he has major skills!  What do you think?

Birthday Party

We started off February with a great birthday party for Cole.  I always feel stressed when throwing a party and I want everything to be perfect and this one was the same way.  Even with everything not perfect it turned out great and Cole seemed to have fun.  He loves playing with his friends and cousins and he loved cake! I even tried out a few pinterest creations.  (nothing too fancy - i'm not super crafty).  We were so glad to have our families come up to visit and party with us.

Happy Birthday Coleman

My sweet little baby is one year old today.  It's a little sad that my infant is turning into a toddler and fast.  He is so fun to be around.   He loves to play and play.  He loves to give kisses.  He is ALL BOY and on the move.  He loves to walk around and explore which means lots of bumps and bruises.  He is into everything but he also understands when I tell him no and don't touch.  MOST of the time he listens and obeys but he does test his limits often.  He is such a sweet boy and loves to laugh.  He absolutely adores his daddy and loves it when Ray comes home from work. 

I love being your mama sweet Coleman.  You make my heart smile everyday!

Roast Chicken

I had never bought a whole chicken until a few months ago. It really grossed me out to handle a chicken and have to pull the giblets out of the middle.  yuck.  BUT,  I bought one thinking that a recipe I had seen on my friend Laurin's blog called for a whole chicken.  I came home only to read that she used bone-in skin on chicken BREASTS! Well, I figured I had to cook it since I bought it so I looked online. and decided to use this recipe/video to make a roast chicken

Tonight was the 3rd time I've made it and it was great.  It was the first time that I read the tips at the bottom that said to "let the chicken rest for 10-15 minutes"  I had not done that the previous 2 times I had cooked it.  So after about 7 minutes there was chicken juice all over the cutting board and dripping all over the floor.  gross.  BUT it did make for a much better chicken.  Ray said it was the best one.

SO 3rd times the charm..

I used the recipe almost exactly.  I didn't put in the garlic (only because I rarely get whole clove garlic). and I cut up an onion and stuffed it inside the chicken along with the thyme and spices.  I also threw in carrots with the potatoes and they were tasty!

I forgot to take a picture after everything was roasted... but here are some before.

Roasting...

Shoes...

I purchased these Pediped shoes for Cole several months ago.  They are great.  They've lasted a long time and I really think they are great for learning to walk.  He can walk in these shoes much better than any other shoes we have. 

Well, today I could only find 1 shoe.  I searched everywhere in our house and could not find the other.  I was so mad because the shoes are pretty pricey and they still fit.  I then remembered that last night Ray took the trash out and he also took this big box with paper and other trash in it that we had sitting out.  I also remembered that Cole would pick up things and put them in the box.  I immediately knew it was in the apartment dumpster.  Ray sweetly volunteered to go look and see if he could see the box in the dumpster.  (It was raining too - that's how sweet he is!)  He came back 5 minutes later with the shoe!!!  He said the box was right on top and the shoe was right in it.  He also said he may or may not have had his legs dangling out of the side of the dumpster.  I would love to have a picture of that!!